Texting Someone New

It's hard to believe that following an incident of madness
I'd be so quick to look out at the world again as if I knew
By some remote chance that I could be in love again

This isn't to say that
I've fallen for someone
Quite the opposite
I'm opposed to it
Instead I now search
Hoping for disappointment
Trying to prove that it is indeed
A world left bereft of
sweet nothings

Since pandemonium stuck
I've found a silly string of phrases
that I've kept in my journal
Right between the old fashion                                       "I love you"s and
my newly wed                                                                "I hate everyone but you"s

The kicker is this
The goal post keeps moving
Why should I fall in love when
I can't even love myself.

Some argue it's a necessity to love one's self above all
But where do children and the elderly fall?
A way side filled with kindling and stairs that lead nowhere.
I'd gladly bite my lip for service if it meant anything sustainable
But whose folly am I pretending to let slide if I play the game

I'll send a message or two, and then
forget the point of conversation
Finding out what you don't already know.
I guess it's the years of learning to
say sorry for things I didn't do
That keep me quiet and
looking at my own two feet
Pondering the noble questions like
"Should I take a seat?"