Oof

I can't sacrifice my life for you again when you're perfectly capable of saving yourself.

As if saving one's self had nothing to do with sacrifice.

Gripping each other's skin between our teeth and nails hoping to find something worth saving

In the blue and yellow and orange swatches of dye and glitter setting on our skin

Both of us have now come to terms with how our blue and yellow spirits

Knowing that poles are fake but are still made out of pole, both of them.

The thought of our bodies riddled in holes filled with lead and knowing

It was tragic and somehow the best thing I could've thought in that moment.

Our little fantasies of morning and night routines and all the moments in between felt like a tragedy

Telling each other we'd be better if we lasted one more day was just another fantastic way

Of